A funny baseball story and a few silly quotes

By Chuck Fiebernitz | May 31, 2012
Photo by: MLB Former Detroit Tigers’ Gates Brown at a recent baseball card show in Detroit, Michigan.

We all love baseball, but that love doesn’t mean we have to be blind to the funny and silly things that players can sometimes do or say.
Baseball has a history of providing a good laugh. So I thought I would run just one of the many funny things baseball players have done and some of the silly and often very clever things they’ve said.

The Gator and his expensive hot dogs
This story was told by the Detroit Tigers’ Jim Northrup and Norm Cash and confirmed by pinch-hitting specialist Gates “Gator” Brown.
In 1968, Brown was lying in the clubhouse watching the Tigers’  game, which was in the early innings, on television. Traditionally, manager Mayo Smith would call for the “Gator” to pinch hit in the late innings.
So Brown decided to grab two hot dogs from the clubhouse.
Before he could get a bite, backup shortstop Dick Tracewski came running into the clubhouse telling him that Smith wanted him up in the dugout to pinch hit.
Now Brown knew the Tigers’ team was full of practical jokers and blew off his teammate, thinking a joke was being played on him.
A few minutes later, Brown heard his manager yelling from the tunnel, ordering him to get a bat to pinch hit. But the “Gator” was not about to leave his ballpark franks in the clubhouse and stuffed the wrapped hot dogs in his jersey to hide them from his manager.
On the second pitch, Brown smacked one in the gap and bolted from the box and raced into second, sliding head first for a double.
However, when he stood up, the “Gator” had mustard and ketchup stains as well as two smashed hot dogs and buns all over his white home uniform.
The opposing infielders took one look at him, turned their backs and busted out in laughter.  Brown’s teammates, however, erupted from the dugout.
To spare Brown further embarrasement, Smith sent out Tracewski to pinch run.
As Brown arrived into the dugout, he ripped off the stained uniform and threw it down at the feet of Smith, who asked, “What the hell were you doing eating during the game in the first place?”
The Gator, who by the way was fined $100 for the incident,  decided to tell his manager the truth.
“I was hungry,” said Brown. “Besides, where else can you eat a hot dog and have the best seat in the house? Oh, by the way, someone owes me two hot dogs!”
Now those are expensive ballpark franks.

A few funny quotes
“Hating the New York Yankees is as American as apple pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.” Mike Royko.

“Baseball stats are like a girl in a bikini. They show a lot, but not everything.” Toby Harrah.

“Well, boys, it’s a round ball and a round bat and you got to hit the ball square.” Joe Schultz.

“A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz.” Humphrey Bogart.

Why does everybody stand up and sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” when they’re already there?” Larry Anderson.

“The best way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until the ball stops rolling and then pick it up.” Bob Uecker.

“Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It’s staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.” Casey Stengel.

“What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.” Harry Caray.

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