Clock Work

By Kristian Buckner | Dec 17, 2012

Attitude is key, I guarantee that I've covered this topic before, but apparently my hippo-campus isn't properly functioning to remind me that my attitude defines my perspective and thus, my quality of life.


When there are a lot of overwhelming things in my life, and I've sucked the contents of my glass down until it’s half empty, I tend to look down on that half empty space imagining rationing my contents out better, so that I would've enjoyed it better. But I didn't; I didn't and they’re gone. My mind spirals out of control with the idea of that until not only is half of my drink gone, but my whole world is a black whole that I imagined, when in reality, it’s really not. When I’m overwhelmed, I don’t think about the positive things, the little things that keep me going and make me look forward to tomorrow. The glow of the Christmas tree, the peace of coffee in the morning, or just sitting down and letting my fingers type what my mind is speaking. I don’t remember those positive things, maybe it’s just one more thing to think about, and why need that extra stress anyway? I keep spinning and spinning in the same circle until I’m depressed, unmotivated, and wondering what the hell I’m doing here anyway.


Then, one day, I stop, and the world is paused, and something serendipitous hits me. (This is tending to happen at least once a week now.) It hits me like the ball in the face telling me I’m no good at volleyball; it hits me that everything is okay, and I just need to slow down. It’s all about my attitude, you see, I become so overwhelmed and spiraled out of control that I forget, or simply chose not, to look at the amazing things that I do have. Those things that I have to be happy for, those little things, even when big, bad, and stressful things are underway. I can’t go on thinking, ‘oh how will I handle this?’ and what if, what if, what if? I must say that I will be okay, and take time to make myself happy and allow my mind a rest from whatever “awful” thing it is that I’m handling.


I was reminded this past week the beauty in the things that make me happy, and life generally, and to not take it all to seriously. I have this reminder thanks to a born-local writer and novelist Fred Chappell, who with his story had renewed my faith in myself, even coming from such a small town. I was trying to climb out of a rut, a rut where I didn't forget to write, but I forgot to let it make me happy. Chappell gave me the advice that I shouldn't want to be a writer, I should want to write. And I remembered, that that IS what I want to do. So whether or not I find success as a writer, I still have the ability and passion to write. And if success is meant to be, it’ll happen. Chappell also reminded me that it isn't about where you come from, even if it is Canton, NC, those who have talent and drive will find what they are looking for in life. So, again, thank you Mr. Chappell for re-inspiring me with your work and your story, that’s something I needed to hear.


Anyway, here’s the answer, the elixir to life: your attitude will define your outlook. If it’s bad? Then you will be miserable, and so will others. Although I know, often there are situations where the reaction is, there’s no right answer, but we must keep moving. Everything passes, and we must look on the bright side. We must learn to make ourselves happy when nothing in the world seems to go our way. Keep our heads up, because if we tell ourselves we can, then why can’t we?


Sometimes it’s so difficult learning to find the bright side when nothing seems right, but it’s something that I’m working on, and won’t give up on yet. This hasn't been the first time I've had to remind myself, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. So here’s to anyone out there reading, and my future self: whether your glass is half empty, or half full, you've still got half a glass worth to enjoy. We must learn to be positive and work at that in order to all work together, because the pessimists out there are stopping life from working as it should.


The world is like a clock, we must learn to fit our gears together and tick at a steady pace which each other can keep up with, in order to work. If we don’t do that, then time is at a stand still.