Cure-all: (N): a remedy for all ills; panacea.
As I am posing shakily in "down dog" position, the lights are dimmed and all is quiet except for breathing and peaceful music. So, I wonder why it is that I can't clear my mind. I'm frustrated, and still sore from my workout yesterday. I wonder how it is that the old lady in the corner has so much balance, how everyone seems to have peace and balance. Mostly though, why I have little to none. Maybe my not being able to focus has to do with why I can't stand for long in a lunge with arms spread out. And goodness, is it hot in here or is it just me?? I mean, I know I've only been in the class for a few minutes now, but I guess I sort of expected to just find it. To find the peace that Buddha had. But I'm shaky, and sore. And unbalanced.
It wasn't until well into the class that I started finding whatever it is that the old lady over there had. Peace. I never could figure out how to totally clear my mind, I don't know if I'll ever have the luxury of having an at ease thought process. But I did eventually feel relaxed. I decided on a method that I learned once in a psychology class, create a mantra to tell yourself when trying to relax. So I created my mantra: "I am quiet. I am peaceful. I am relaxed. I am quiet. I am calm. I am relaxed." Surprisingly, it worked.
By the end of the class, I didn't really want to leave. The stretches, though some seemed stiff and difficult for me, felt wonderful afterwards. I felt more at ease than I had in a while, and thus my moment of serendipity.
You know when you have that moment. When you find something that you may or may not have been looking for, but came up with something so much better instead? That was yoga for me today. Maybe yoga could be a cure-all. Maybe it's the answer. Delving into the thought a bit deeper, I decided it wasn't just yoga itself, but it was me doing yoga. Me finding peace. Me finding quiet and calm. Me discovering something about myself, a peace that I hadn't had in a while.
I knew about this peace once, and unfortunately I'm at a loss for why it was lost. But I had found it in a dark place, and when happiness overcame, I dropped it, feeling like I no longer needed that coping mechanism. Now I'm finding, I was wrong. I always need it. I think all of us always need it. A peace that we find in ourselves through something. Anything that you find it in, really.
So I've decided my doing yoga was perhaps a cure-all for me. Doing meditation in general is a cure-all. A place where even when you are surrounded, you are alone with yourself, and your thoughts. A place where you can decide who you are, and what you want. And sometimes, perhaps that comes without thinking about it at all.
Perhaps the best peace we can have, is the one we find when we aren't looking.
I thought that perhaps I would share a bit extra of the things that make me feel full, and content, and peaceful.
A Hearty and Long Laugh
A Very Hot Bath
A Long Hug From Someone Who is Dear to You
And now, Yoga
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