Sharknado movie review
Yes, this movie aired on Syfy weeks ago, but it was such a big "hit", that I wanted to wait a little bit before I tore it apart with my words. Syfy is well known for producing a plethora or low-grade, low-quality horror movies. But they take pride in making these cheesy horror movies, not aiming for making technically good movies, but aiming to make entertaining movies. Films like Jersey Shore Shark Attack and Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus prove that Syfy can make entertaining bad movies worth a watch. However, no film to come from Syfy has ever garnered as much attention as Sharknado.
The odd thing was, Syfy was hyping this movie much more than any other film in previous memory, and when the movie hit, it became a Twitter sensation. Unfortunately, Twitter is used OFTEN to judge a show's success because it shows how many people are talking about it. I just miss the days when it came down to a show's viewer count to judge if it were a success, because the boom of social media interaction that clutters television has become a little ridiculous, but that's another topic. Sharknado set records for its Twitter posts and overall media buzz. But why? Why this film? Well, let's talk about it.
The movie starts off, literally, with a tornado picking up hundreds of sharks in 1 spot and creating the Sharknado. The disaster heads for the cost, where our cast lives, including Tara Reid and John Heard, whose careers were obviously dead if they appeared in this. The disaster appears and starts racking up a death count, but it is eventually stops. Now, with the whole city flooded with sharks everywhere, there a re sharks lingering around, but it gives our characters time to recuperate. Until 2 more sharknados appear and threaten to destroy everything. You know they stop the sharknados, but that isn't the real disaster this movie faces.
Don't bother getting to know these characters. They don't have any personality or intrigue outside of typical typecast roles that look unoriginal even by Syfy standards. Not to mention the fact that nobody seems to want to give a decent performance with any acting talent. Even Tara Reid, who is from the American Pie franchise and Van Wilder, who was funny in those movies, gives such a bland performance I was starting to wonder if she phoned it in and they cgi'd her body in every scene. Except they couldn't do that if they tried because...
..the special effects are garbage. Now, this is another common trend for Syfy, and Sharknado isn't that much worse than other Syfy films, but it is still no excuse. It would look bad in the 1970's, and looks bad now. You never believe for a moment that the sharks could even BEGIN to look convincingly there. The shark in Jaws looked more realistic. (Not bashing Jaws, I love Jaws.)
The biggest thing wrong with this movie, is its content surrounding it. Just, wow. The entire time while watching the movie, I was either scoffing at the horrible acting or cringing at the "story" that this movie was trying to tell. You may notice my description of the story was a little lacking, but that's because the plot was really lacking. They try to develop backstories for their characters, and I give them credit for that, but they are all so uninteresting and poorly acted, it is a struggle to actually becoming invested in any way shape or form. Plus, the ending has one of the worst moments in cinema history. The twist is stupid, nonsensical and I actually booed the screen.
Overall, this is the worst movie I've ever seen, and it saddens me that this is one of the most talked about and successful movies this year. Critics hate it thankfully, but thanks to Twitter, Sharknado became a phenomenom. Why this movie? Why is this the one to garner such attention? The only possible reason I could possibly imagine is that people got a kick over how bad it was a ran with it. I mean people are still fans of Batman and Robin with George Clooney, including myself, so I get it. But Sharknado makes Batman and Robin look like The Dark Knight. Sharknado is the worst movie I have ever had to bear witness to, and I only hope it will have its little sequel next year, then disappear, because the fact that this movie is this popular baffles me.
I give Sharknado a 0.25 out of 5.
The only reason it got any points is because people actually had to work on this, and they have to be recognized for that. Do not watch this movie.