Things I Wish I'd Never Said
Many a time my tongue has gotten me in trouble, and I've had to learn to bite my tongue.
It really is an acquired skill too, learning to bite your tongue. When I was a kid I was quite rambunctious, and as most children, I didn't understand that some things weren't acceptable to say. Especially not out in pulic. Although on many occasions I feel for my mother, the slip ups and slight regrets sometimes go deeper than misunderstandings and childhood days.
Although I wonder what circumstances I would be facing now had I not said some things that I did. Maybe there would be more fond memories. Maybe I would have some of the friends I don't now. Maybe I wouldn't have created bad positions for myself in some relationships. Maybe I wouldn't have created so many fights. Maybe. It's the 'what if' of 'what if's. It's trouble I caused for myself that could've been so easily avoided.
Mostly though, I think that the problem has been that I overly think, about everything. Over thinking anything leads to nothing but trouble especially if one tends to be a pessimist. Which I am. I overly think, so I create a plethora of opinions, I'm open enough to want to share them, and I'm honest enough to not hold anything back. And I wish I had learned the lesson that I know now, just to bite my tongue. Maybe who used to be my bestfriend, wouldn't have dropped me. Maybe the one I love could forgive me. Maybe those kids I go to school with would want to talk to me. Yet I opened my mouth when I shouldn't have. I felt something and I over reacted. Over thought. Over spoke.
I think that a lot of people don't really realize when to bite their tongues either, and they don't until after they've said it. They're just like me, just trying to do the right thing and doing wrong. Angrily voicing your opinion and damaging chances. I want to repeat what I know most true, words are powerful things. Words are our biggest weapon against our own kind, and used the wrong way, words can bring down a world, bring down a person, bring down a moment. Words are something we can all use, and sometimes we need to learn to not use them.
So, there's a lot of things I wish I'd never said, but sometimes, the good that I did with the things I did say, make up for it.
I'm so glad I told my bestfriend now how I feel, because we are so close. I'm glad I've told my mom the truth, because nothing feels better than trust. I'm glad I was brave enough to open my mouth and be myself when I got the chance to improve myself, and to make chances for my future. I'm glad I gave my opinion to a lost friend that night. Because sometimes the truth is what needs to be said, and sometimes, we've got to learn to bite our tongues.
Don't let it be a 'what if' next time. Learn to bite your tongue, it's one of the most useful lessons to man kind.
If you've got any input, feel free to email me at email@example.com ! Stay tuned next week for the last of the what ifs, Things I Should Have Said.